Choosing who comes in ...

There are probably a lot of people out there who think I have the intellectual capacity of a gnat. After all, I do (and enjoy!) some shallow things. Like reading People, checking out TMZ, perhaps even watching a segment of good ole' Dr. Phil.

But I do like to think and be challenged too.

Part and parcel with a divorce comes re-thinking your life, your priorities, the choices you wish to make moving forward.

So when I recently visited Melody's blog, and read this post, well, it really resonated with me, and parallels much of what I've been doing myself.

As she writes, we get to choose who and what really comes into/stays in our lives. It sounds simple enough, but it's not always easy to accomplish. She envisions herself as a property undergoing restoration, and making conscious choices about who and what gets to stay.

"Your mind is sacred space. You can have as many people and things and dreams going on in your life as you really want to have…but put boundaries on how close those things get to the core of you. YOU ALWAYS GET TO DECIDE WHAT GETS TO STAY….and what even makes it past the front door…don’t forget that. THIS IS YOUR HOUSE!"

She nailed it. What she wrote has been at the core of what I've been thinking for the past couple years. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to be surprised at every turn. Yes, my children can be demanding and surprising. Yes, people have their own expectations of me. Yes, I was in two bad relationships and the pain from those sucked. But those feelings don't need to become the core of my being. I get to choose what I want to have, whom I want to have, close to me and my kids. I can "evict" people, things, and thoughts that aren't aligned with who I am.

I guess Melody's words reminded me ... restoration is not a bad thing. It's, dare say it, intellectual? to really, REALLY take the time and effort to imagine what I want, who I want, as part of my life moving forward. I do have the power to shoo things away, put old stuff at the curb, give thoughts an "eviction" notice. That's powerful.

Comments

[Bonnierose]

amen sister, amen. As a divorce survivor myself.. trust me.. taking the turn for a better life is always so powerful.. I applaud you for all you've done.. you and I could sit and have a coffee and talk for hours I imagine.. we both truly have so much in common.. xo hugs

[Tricia]

I've had to clean house a bit recently and reevaluate who I spend time with and why. It's difficult to restore our own houses, but what you've written and contemplated is so very true. Thanks for the reminder.